$ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ Intentional Investing Newsletter April, 2004 $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ IN THIS ISSUE: 1. Note from Your Editor, Lynne 2. Article: Turning Tax-Time Complaints into Calls-for-Action 3. Top 5 Tips: From Complaints to Calls-for Action AND Top 5 Tips: Lessons from Tax Time 4. Intentional Investing Announcements ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Note from Lynne -=- Dear Reader, The April 15 tax deadline is behind us. Hopefully, our last issue on money avoidance was helpful, your taxes were filed on time, and your mind is now moving on to more pleasant activities. Continuing our theme of reducing money avoidance, have you ever thought about your complaints about money as signs of commitment? Our feature article examines how your complaints at tax-time can reveal what is important to you, allowing you to make meaningful commitments for your future financial well-being and to take effective action. If you like what you read, the greatest compliment to Intentional Investing is to forward this newsletter to friends, family and others who may benefit from it as well. As always, I look forward to your comments and recommendations for future editions of Intentional Investing! My best! Lynne ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D., Editor e-mail: Lynne@LMHServices.com Coaching successful professionals to greater financial freedom and well-being. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Feature Article: Turning Tax-time Complaints into Calls-for-Action -=- The April 15 tax deadline is past. Many of us are putting this unpleasant experience behind us and getting back to more enjoyable activities. But, what if I told you that you are missing a valuable opportunity by doing so? What opportunity, you ask? Benefitting from your tax-time complaints while they're still fresh in your mind. Think back on the last few weeks. What were the top 3-5 complaints about doing your taxes that kept cycling through your thoughts or conversations with others? Let me give you some examples of complaints that I heard from my money coaching clients: $ I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING - receipts, 1099 forms, bank statements... It's SO frustrating!! $ I get so much junk mail that I just toss it on a pile every night. I probably threw out my 1099s with the rest of the stuff. $ I put all my receipts into a shoe box. But, at the end of the year, it's such a big mess that I don't know where to start. So I put it off until the last minute. $ I hate having to file with my husband. He gets impatient and irritated when we can't find our papers. Then he refuses to work on them when we do. I'm tired of filing for needless extensions. Do any of these complaints sound familiar? Do they make you want to approach your taxes? Probably just the opposite. Complaints are typically viewed as unproductive, if not unpleasant. On the one hand, they are. When we are discontent, dissatisfied, or unhappy we're uncomfortable, and probably uncomfortable to be around. While complaining is an expression that something is painful or not right for us, it usually is ineffective as a strategy -- protest without action -- that leaves us feeling helpless or stuck. What if you look at complaints another way. Most of us don't complain about things that aren't important to us in some way. I'll admit that we all know someone whose "script" is "The Complainer". They habitually engage with their world through complaining. But let's assume that we're talking about us "regular folks" who complain when we're really discontented. Authors Kegan and Lahey in "How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work" (2001) propose a provocatively different way to look at complaints. They propose that every complaint embeds something that you are committed to. So, in their approach, the questions become: What is the commitment embedded in my complaint? What is my call-to-action? Let's use the four examples from my coaching clients. $ Pat complained about not finding her papers. What is she committed to? Doing her duty and filing her taxes on time. What is Pat's call-to-action? Develop an organizational system that makes tax time easier. $ Mark gets frustrated with the volume of junk mail he receives, and consequently "sorts his mail" by tossing it into a large pile. When he gets tired of looking at the pile he throws it out, losing important documents. What is he committed to? Simplifying his life, at least where mail is concerned. What is his call-to-action? Devise a simple screening strategy to use each night so that he throws out unwanted mail and deals only with essential letters and documents. $ Trish learned the "shoe box method" of storing important receipts from her parents. While it may have worked for them years ago, this method is ineffective for tracking the numerous receipts from Trish's home business and house-related expenses. Trish's commitment? To take all the tax exemptions that she can for her home and home-run business. Her call-to-action? Move on to a management system that she can use easily and consistently throughout the year. $ Nan and her husband get into conflicts around filing their joint taxes. What is Nan's commitment? To file taxes on time with her husband. What is her call-to-action? Discuss money styles and money management with her husband so that they can better understand each other and figure out ways to make joint money situations such as tax filings go more smoothly. Sometimes we complain to let off steam. Sometimes it's easier to complain - producing the "sounds of work" - rather than take action. Sometimes we complain because we don't see other options. The next time you complain, ask yourself: What is this letting me know I'm committed to? You might be surprised by the answer! Reference: Kegan, R., and L.L.Lahey. (2001). How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Like what you're reading? Then send this newsletter to friends, family, and colleagues who are interested in moving toward greater financial freedom and well-being. They can subscribe at www.lmhservices.com, or by sending an e-mail to Lynne@WLMHServices with "subscribe newsletter" in the subject line. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Top Five Tips: From Complaints to Calls-for- Action -=- 1. When you are complaining, ask yourself: What am I committed to? 2. If you don't get an answer to #1, wait until your emotions (frustration, impatience, dissatisfaction) settle down. Ask yourself again. 3. If you still can't figure it out, ask someone else whose insights you trust and respect. 4. Once you identify your commitment, ask yourself: What's my call-to-action? What do I want to accomplish and how will that be valuable to me? 5. Then ask yourself: What's my first step? Take it. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Top Five Tips: Lessons from Tax Time -=- If you are like Pat, Mark and Trish, you need a simple organizational system for your tax-related documents. 1. Buy an inexpensive plastic file box for storing receipts and tax-related documents throughout the year. Pick a color that is attractive and eye- catching. 2. Use your 2003 1040 Income Tax Return to identify categories of information that you regularly report on your tax return. Keep the number of categories to 12 or less for simplicity. Examples: Income Statements, Taxes Paid, Gifts to Charity, Interest\Dividends, Capital Gains, Home Mortgage Interest, Retirement Account(s), Rental Real Estate, Student Loan Interest, Alimony Paid, etc. Use different colors for income and expense folders so that they are easy to spot. Label a file folder for each category and place them in your file box. 3. Find a convenient place for your file box, some place in your home or office where it will catch your eye. I place mine beside my desk in my home office. I can't miss it. 4. When you walk into your home or office, immediately put receipts and relevant mail into the file box. I personally don't sort the receipts into my category folders, leaving that to the end of the week. My daily goal simply is to store them away. 5. Sort your receipts and papers weekly into their respective category folders. I save this task for times when I have to be on the phone -- waiting to get through to a live person at the phone company, for technical support on computer problems or to schedule a medical appointment. Using the time to organize my receipts when I'm a "captive audience" also reduces my complaints about being on hold! ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ If you are interested in coaching, contact me for a free half-hour consultation at Lynne@LMHServices.com. or (202) 387-5923. Please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and brief description of your interest in being coached. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Intentional Investing Announcements -=- Have you been to the Intentional Investing webpage lately? Go to www.lmhservices.com and click on "Changing your Relationship to Money." On the Intentional Investing webpage, you can take a self-quiz on Your Relationship to Money, participate in a survey on gender and money, access articles written by Lynne as well read previous editions of this newsletter! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, May 5 From Money Avoidance to Action 7:30 - 8:30PM EST FREE! Are you a money avoider? Then this is the teleclass for you. Learn about your pattern of avoidance, identify what needs to and can shift in order to move from avoidance to effective action. Leave the call with specific action steps to send you on your way! Register by May 3 by sending an e-mail to: Lynne@LMHservices.com with "Register Money Avoidance" in the subject line. You'll then receive the telephone number and instructions for accessing the call. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Wednesday, May 12 Turn your Tax-time Complaints 7:30 - 8:30PM EST into Calls-for-Action FREE! Ready to turn your tax-time complaints into action steps? Develop a simple system to make future tax filings painless? Then invest an hour of your time and join us on May 12. Leave with a plan of action that will work for you! Register by May 10 by sending an e-mail to: Lynne@LMHservices.com with "Register Complaints to Action" in the subject line. You'll then receive the telephone number and instructions for accessing the call. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ PLEASE NOTE: Intentional Investing [TM] is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for financial, legal, accounting, psychotherapeutic, or other professional advice and consultation. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Copyright 2000-2003 Lynne Hornyak. All rights reserved. The above material is copyrighted but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a website without my permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ $=$ CONTACT INFORMATION $=$ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D. LMH Services Coaching and Consulting 3818 Klingle Place, NW Washington, DC 20016 Phone: (202) 387-5923 Fax: (202) 244-3373 e-mail: Lynne@LMHServices.com Web: www.LMHServices.com