$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ Wealth Healthy Women Newsletter Healthy Attitudes ==> Wealthy Women [TM] April, 2002 $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ WELCOME to Wealth Healthy Women [TM], a free e-mail newsletter for women seeking greater financial freedom and well-being. To subscribe to this free e-mail newsletter please send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. In the subject line put "Subscribe Newsletter". $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ IN THIS ISSUE: 1. Note From Your Editor, Lynne 2. Article: Pillar One of Financial Self-Esteem: Living Consciously with Money 3. Spotlight: Money Shy to Money Sure by Olivia Mellan and Sherry Christie 4. WealthHealthy Announcements ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Note From Lynne -=- If you are thinking it's been a while since your last issue of Wealth Healthy Women -- you are right! For that I apologize. I have been immersed in a wonderful shift in my life over the past four months. My significant other ("boyfriend" sounds too young for me) and I committed to spending our lives together. We bought a house, sold two, and moved not only our homes but our offices as well. Needless to say, I'm now an expert at moving. I am also learning and re-learning some valuable "money lessons" as my financial picture is reshaped. I'll share my learnings with you over the next few issues. Speaking of commitments, I am committing to sending out an issue of Wealth Healthy Women every two to three weeks. For the next six issues, our Feature Article will focus on the six pillars of financial self-esteem -- what they are, how they support a wealth-healthy life, and practical tips for putting them into action. The pillar for today is "Living consciously with money." I am also revising the six-week Wealth Healthy Basic Program, and I'm very excited at how it is shaping up. Look for more information in upcoming issues of Wealth Healthy Women. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Feature Article: Living Consciously with Money -=- $=$ BACKGROUND $=$ In the last issue, I mentioned the wonderful work of Nathaniel Branden, a psychotherapist who pioneered in the area of self-esteem. He authored a book entitled The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Dr. Branden commented that self-esteem is not only indispensable to mental health, it is an economic need. It is good self-esteem -- "trusting your ability to make appropriate choices and cope effectively with adversity" -- that enables us to handle the challenges of our current economic times. I translated the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem into the Six Pillars of Financial Self-Esteem. If you'd like a copy of the last issue, that overviews the pillars, send me a note at Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. $=$ LIVING CONSCIOUSLY WITH MONEY $=$ Think of someone in your life who "lives consciously with money." Include yourself if you'd like. How does this person handle his or her financial life? How do they spend their money? How do they manage their money? How do they talk about money? What is their attitude about money? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ * Living consciously with money is having the courage to look at the hard realities of your money life. It's not about being "perfect" or a "saint." It may be facing the fact that you spend more than you earn. Or that you forget to pay your credit card bills and rack up huge late fees. Or that you followed the crowd into tech stocks and lost half of your retirment account. * Commitment to this pillar means that you refuse to take the easy way out by avoiding awareness of your true financial situation. "I'm too busy to balance my checkbook." "I just don't get to my mail right away." "I don't have any money to pay my credit card bill right now. It just makes me sick to look at the numbers, so I let the bills stack up." "I'm not retiring soon, so I'll deal with that later." "I'll just get an extension on my taxes." These common rationalizations allow us to avoid awareness to some extent. But, for most of us they have an emotional cost -- a vague sense of pressure or discomfort or, in other cases, acute panic when we can't avoid the issue. * Commitment to this pillar means that you do not judge yourself for your financial situation or relationship with money. It is about observing, not judging. It's simply asking the kind of questions that allow you to describe your current situation. For example, what can I do to avoid accumulating more late fees? $=S TIPS $=$ 1. Write down 10 ways that you have not been living consciously with money, but would like to change. Examples: Not balancing your checkbook, not looking at your account balances, not keeping track of expenses, not opening bills, using your credit card in a way that allows you to not think about the price, not following up with people who owe you money. 2. Use your common rationalizations to identify what you are avoiding. Many of us know our rationalizations quite well. You can also ask friends and family to point out ways you rationalize or put off dealing with your money life. (Just be ready for what you may hear!) 3. Adopt a non-judgmental attitude. Judgments make us feel bad and keep us stuck. One approach is to be very curious, and ask curious questions. Examples: - How much money did I spend today on items like coffee, snacks, greeting cards, flowers, meals, parking? - When do I find myself shopping for things that I don't really need? - What can I do to pay down a bit on this credit card each month? - When can I build in some time each month to balance my checkbook? - Is there some money management tool that can make that easier for me? - Who can help me with this? - How can I organize my records so that I don't have such a mess at tax time again next year? 4. Take your top-10 list and put yourself in your best non-judgmental attitude. Then, next to each item, write down how you'd like to be living consciously. Be spcific and realistic. For example: Not balancing my checkbook\ I will balance my checkbook each month within five days after the bank statement arrives. Since this is new for me, I will spend 20 minutes balancing my checkbook for the first few months. If I need longer, I'll schedule another time to finish it within the next three days. later. 5. Remember that this is a process. Give yourself credit for the courage it takes to face your money life with intentionality. Acknowledge that this process takes time Respect your immediate reactions - fear, discomfort, annoyance, frustration, disappointment. They're part of the journey. With gentle persistence, they will evolve to feelings of satisfaction, comfort, clarity and control. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Resource: Money Shy to Money Sure -=- How do we get into avoiding awareness of the details of our money life? As a therapist and coach for 19 years, I know that avoidance is a human response to fear and confusion. We try to protect ourselves from these painful, uncomfortable feelings -- yet our very protections can get in our way. Olivia Mellan and Sherry Christie have written a wonderfully enlightening book entitled "Money Shy to Money Sure: A Woman's Road Map to Financial Well-Being." They identify seven myths that commonly underlie women's fear, confusion, and uncertainty -- and keep them from taking charge of their money. These myths range from "Money is too complicated for me to understand" to "Someone else should be taking care of this for me." Olivia and Sherry challenge these myths, and provide lots of advice to enable you to move down the path to financial well-being. The authors write in a style that is informative, easy to read, and encouraging. Treat yourself to a great resource! ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^` $$ WealthHealthy Announcements $$ -=- Teleclass: -=- " Living Consciously with Money - Taking the First Step" It's one thing to read tips and think that they are great ideas. It's another thing to actually put them into action. Join other like-minded women in translating the conscious-living tips, noted in the feature article, into realistic, manageable action steps for yourself. This will be an informal, fun teleclass -- brainstorming and enjoying the company of other women can make this activity seem like a gift rather than a chore! When: Wednesday, May 8 6:00-7:00 PM Eastern Time Cost: FREE Registration limited to 12 participants. To Register: Send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. Put "Conscious" in the subject line and include your name, phone number and e-mail address in the body of your e-mail note. You will receive a confirmation of the teleclass, and further instructions for accessing the special phone line for the call. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Watch for announcements of other WealthHealthy teleclasses in future issues. If there is a topic that particularly interests you, please let me know. Send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ To hear a 10-minute description of the WealthHealthy approach, as well as a bit about me, you can call 1-212-461-2660. If you are interested in coaching, simply e-mail me at Lynne@WealthHealthy.com or call me at (202) 387-5923. Please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and brief description of your interest in being coached. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Pass this newsletter along to friends, family, and colleagues who also may be interested in moving toward greater financial freedom and well-being. They can get their own free subscription by going to http://wealthhealthy.com and signing up - it's as simple as typing in their e-mail address. Or, send an e-mail to whw-request@WealthHealthy.com with the word "subscribe newsletter" in the body of the letter. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ PLEASE NOTE: Wealth Healthy Women [TM] is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for financial, legal, accounting, psychotherapeutic, or other professional advice and consultation. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Copyright 2002 Lynne Hornyak. All rights reserved. The above material is copyrighted but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a website without my permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ $$ CONTACT INFORMATION $$ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D. WealthHealthy.com Phone: (202) 387-5923 Fax: (202) 244-3373 e-mail: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com Web: http://WealthHealthy.com